So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
