a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
