We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize
