You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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