Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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