There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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