All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
