Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
