i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
