I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Randomize
