Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Randomize
