What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Randomize
