Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
