he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
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