id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
