I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Randomize
