Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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