It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
