That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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