I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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