Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Randomize
