Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Randomize
