After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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