i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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