I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
