it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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