pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
its not stalking. its research.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
