you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
