You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Randomize
