one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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