hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
