I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
so let's talk penis.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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