how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
