Buhtt sex?
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
