I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
