Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
Randomize
