Dual....:-)
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
