Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Do vagina's smell?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I'm surprised, it's been so long you must be starving
At a certain point, the zombie-like hunger goes away. Then the sadness sets in. Then you start lying to yourself that you're taking some "me time." Then you remember you dodged chlamydia and Buddha knows what else. Then you're at peace with it.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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