so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Randomize
