Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
