Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
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