Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
