Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
