you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
