Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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