going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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