Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize