they need to just BURY HIM!
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
He felt like a one man threesome
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I just had sex on a roof
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Randomize
