I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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