well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
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