i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
