Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
