Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Even the bartender felt bad for me
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
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