I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
