he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
