Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
We are taking shots off of spoons and listening to Mary Poppins.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
