but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
