VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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