Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
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