I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
