i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
