He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
