my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
