Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Randomize
