i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
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