i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Randomize
