Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Randomize
