i just wanna soil my oats bro
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
