Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
