No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
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