And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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