ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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