I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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