She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
