The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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