i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Randomize
