i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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