I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize