uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
