May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
