Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize